Time to Lay it Down

Few really truly know me. Even less actually ‘get’ me.  And by getting me, I mean know the true essence of who I am, what I stand for, what I believe in…what makes me tick…on the soul level.

Perhaps I have not let many in to be able to fully reveal myself. I’m aware that I do this as a defense mechanism for fear of being judged, not accepted or approved of. I’ve struggled with this my entire life.

Throughout my life I’ve been a people pleaser; always seeking to make others happy so they are not disappointed in me.  This behavior occurred in my relationships ranging from family to friends to my ‘romantic’ relationships. I’ve recognized this pattern of behavior within myself a few years ago.  I’m aware of it, yet at times it still rears it’s ugly head to challenge me to break the pattern. I no longer want to care what others think of my choices, decisions, my way of thinking, my spiritual beliefs. I no longer want to care what others think of me.  I am no longer seeking approval for the choices and decisions I make for myself.  I always respect the opinions of others, however my feeling is if someone does not agree with something I say, do or feel, that is on them, that is not on me.  It is no longer a burden of responsibility that I am willing to carry as it has gotten too heavy to bear and I am laying it down.

I am a deeply sensitive being. Like a badge of honor, I wear my emotions on my sleeve for the world to see.  I not only feel what I feel, most times, I also feel what you feel. My heart overflows with a sense of responsibility to care for many; to be the Light that shines in your moment of darkness.  Yet, at times, I too seek to find that Light in my moments of darkness.

Behind the closed doors in the sacred sanctuary of my apartment I cry with you, I smile with you, I hurt with you and I laugh with you. Tears are shed…a release. Releasing the emotions that I feel, is such a good, healthy thing to do because I simply don’t want them to get rooted within me. Many do not understand this and many never will.

I am a positive, kind person who does my best to see the good in people and situations.  Having a positive perspective on life can be difficult at times as I am human, just like you.  I have my own dragons to slay and some just don’t understand this. I share my outlooks with others in hopes it will help them for a moment in their day and perhaps they will, in turn, pay it forward.  It only has to begin with one person.  My perspective is, if I help one person, animal, etc, it will have a ripple effect and the gesture is much grander in the big picture then in the actual moment.

The journey I have been on since I moved to North Carolina has not been easy.  It has been an introspective map leading me to have met the most beautiful people, experience amazing moments, and it has allowed me to find out who I am and what I want from my life. Now at forty-four years young, I am beginning to understand who I really am and what my soul’s purpose is.

As I move forward, one foot in front of the other, I grow into the human that I was meant to become in this lifetime. Not everyone will understand and that is okay.  At times, I don’t even understand and in those moments I pause, take a deep breath, ask for Guidance, trust and continue with my journey.

 

You Only Have to Forgive Once…

 

Forgiveness is a powerful act of self love that can have ripple effects far beyond just saying ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I forgive you’.  When you forgive another person, a situation and even yourself, you release the emotions behind whatever you may have been holding onto.  Those emotion(s) may be anger, guilt, resentment, sadness, shame and jealousy (to name a few) all of which are considered low vibrating emotions. To cling to these emotions and not uproot them from within yourself can only cause lingering amounts of pain and resentment.

What happens when these emotions get stored in your body year after year without being released?  They will unveil themselves to you in a new form such as physical pain and/or dis-ease. And then you are left wondering why you all of a sudden have chronic neck pain that just won’t seem to go away.

Please know you are not condoning the actions of someone or a situation if you feel they may have caused you suffering, rather you are freeing yourself of holding onto something that happened in the past.  That particular person does not need to know you forgave them, meaning, you do not have to do this face to face.  This is something you can do privately between you and what you may call the Higher Power (God, Buddha, Source, etc).

There are many ways to forgive and release.  It can be done by stating forgiveness sentences out loud, by praying, journaling or whatever else might work for you.  There is no right or wrong way to do this.  To forgive is to let go and that in of itself is beautiful.

A Message for All

The world is in challenging times. SO much is going on that appears to be real yet it is all an illusion and all are players in the big game. We are coming together more to assist the Lightworkers to harmoniously raise the vibration of each other and the planet. In times of strife, don’t fear we are always with you. Know you are loved, child.

Your life is not a mistake and everything falls together like a glorious puzzle each piece fitting intricately together in glorious perfection.

Lighten up and have fun.

 

The Story of Milo

Along with my messages and my own thoughts, I am feeling it is time to tell Milo’s story and how he has changed me forever.  I will be posting his journey, more specifically his journey with cancer so that I may share my love for him, his love for me and my love for you allowing me to pass along the information I have learned when you hear those awful and dreaded words…’Your dog has cancer.’  It is my hopes that I will be able to help those dog parents who just don’t know what to do.

This is Milo’s story.

Milo meandered his way into my heart little by little, moment by moment until his paw prints made so many indentations, you could not tell one memory apart from the other.  I kept my promise to him to be the best Mom and guardian I could be and do anything I could within my power to take care of him and love him…just the way he is.

And in turn, he has taught me so many lessons.  Lessons on patience, love, pin pointed focus, humor and determination just to name a few. Some of these lessons seem very on the surface and they were.  They were quite obvious.  Others, ran as deep as my soul and would not be brought into my awareness until much later.

I want to share one of those moments with you.  What I am about to share is from the amazing animal communicator, Diane Jackson from www.AnimalMessengers.com.

In early December, I had the chance to ask Milo a few questions through Diane.  This is what transpired.

‘When I first called Milo, he stepped forward and Boris came with him. Boris wanted to know if he could talk too.  I told him that him that he was more than welcome to chime in anytime. Boris said he often likes to be the comedian because Milo can get too serious about things. (Although Milo says he has a great comedic sense too). Milo might not show it outwardly but inwardly he is concerned about taking care of everything and everybody. Although that can be a huge responsibility, Milo wouldn’t have it any other way. He is proud of the way he does his ‘job’.  The problem is taking on too much emotional and energetic responsibility can be difficult for a physical body to process.  Milo says he really likes being the keeper of the energies in the household. He feels that it is an important part of his purpose in being with his family. Boris said he thinks that we should all help Milo understand that no one expects him to take all that on.  He said, “Me and Mom just want Milo to he happy and healthy.”

Question: Your Mom Wants to Know How You Are Feeling?

‘Truthfully, I am kind of frustrated. I need for my body to be stronger and it just doesn’t seem to be able to keep up with all the work I do. (What kind of work are you talking about?) I am responsible for the emotional well-being of everyone in my family. I worry about them a lot and I often feel that I really can’t help them as much as I want to. I came to this family with a commitment to anchor peace and stability in our home environment. That can take a lot of physical and emotional energy. My heart and mind are fully up to the job. But my body, unfortunately, seems to pay a price for all the energies I so willingly take on.’

Question: Are You In Any Pain?

‘I have some minor physical discomfort. But I really try not to focus on that. My discomfort comes from a place of emotional distress when I feel like I can’t balance the energies the way I think they should be. I try to keep a lot of my distress to myself, because my Mom worries about me enough as it is. I only want her to feel happy all the time.’

Question: Is There Anything That You Need or Want? Anything Else You Want Your Mom to Know?

‘Yes! My Mom worries too much about me and Boris. She tries so hard to give us everything we need. Sometimes she gives too much. She prioritizes for others way more than she does for herself. One of the many lessons I am teaching her is about the importance of loving yourself and having good emotional boundaries. Good boundaries can be hard when you really love those you are in relationship with. I am a good example of over-giving and not having those boundaries. Although my heart is in the right place, I simply take on too much. I have no regrets about that though. I am a constant mirror of important information for my Mom and for Boris. The real lesson is about finding true alignment in all aspects of your Being. That means all the various energetic and emotional systems are working harmoniously with one another. When the body comes up with an illness, it is only the body’s way of communicating that something needs attention. There is always an emotional correlation with the physical issue. So it is important to address the core issue at the room of the physical problem. That often means sniffing out any places where emotions are hiding and set them free. I have been very good out sniffing out, but not always great at setting the emotions free. So you can see that I am the consummate teacher of many important life lessons. My Mom needs to know that all I do is out of my infinite love for her.’

Question: Boris, Are You Going to be Okay When Milo Transitions to the Heavenly Realms?

‘I am much stronger than my Mom thinks I am. I tend to stay in Milo’s shadow a bit right now because I know that my doing that is important for him right now. He needs to feel that he is the leader and that he is doing a great job. Of course I miss my friend when he leaves, but I also know that he will still be with us – just not in his dog suit. I will admit that I would like a new friend to play with at some point when my Mom is ready. Milo said he doesn’t want us hanging around grieving his loss. He said he will come back in a different dog suit. He said that Mom will know it’s him when she sees him.  He will give Mom a look that will give her the shivers.’

Milo’s beautiful reading was read out loud in a room of about 15-20 people.  Most of them had tears in their eyes upon the end of the reading, myself included.

Milo only goes to prove to me, yet again, what a wise, old soul he is.

I Am Enough, I Am Always Enough.

There is a light that shines in the center of your Being that needs to be shining brighter. Open your heart center to new, loving experiences and new loving people. Watch who you so freely shine your heart light for not everyone is as open as you. They will take a piece of your light.  Have discernment for who you bring into your precious world, space and hearts.

You are a beacon of light for the world.  Connect your light with the light of the world and together darkness will be uprooted. Where there is darkness there can always be light.

Take heed of others and follow your guidance system. Love is the only way. Love is the only way.  Forgive and love.

Desire peace of mind, peace of heart and peace of the world.

Don’t look to the mirror for your reflection as your true reflection shines through your heart. That is who you really are. Share your reflection with the world.

And so it is.

Today’s Goddess Message

I decided it would be fun to ask for a general message for the those reading this post from The Goddess Oracle deck by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and Illustrated by Hrana Janto.

Each and every one of us, whether born male or female in this lifetime possess BOTH male and female energy.  The ying and the yang.  So yes, if you’re male, you do possess energies of the Divine Feminine/Goddess.

Today’s card is Goddess Vila: Shape-Shifting.

I dance from form to form

I shift from shape to shape

ever changing

ever expanding

ever becoming

I am flexibility

for by changing my form

I freely flow with all that comes my way

I am consciousness

for by shifting my shape

I gain an expanded awareness of what it is to Be

I waltz a whirlwind

tango a tree

salsa a swan

or just plain fox-trot

My dance is an affinity with All

for I am able to become All in order to know All

Becoming All dissolves form

Knowing All creates Oneness

The illusion is that you have a separate shape.

Continue below for meaning of the card…

Meaning:

Vila has come dancing into your life in her many forms to teach you to nourish wholeness by learning to shape-shift. Have you been too long in one form? Are you feeling still and stagnant, losing flexibility in your way of thinking and being? O perhaps you feel that the human is the most important being in creation – that the rocks, tress, animals, earth, etc, are lesser forms.  It is time to expand your awareness, to enhance your flexibility by gaining the perspective of other forms. Vila says the way to wholeness lies in experiencing the whole of creation.